When Dreaming Ends
by Mebrireth
Summary: Before Christian ever entered her life, Satine comes to the bitter realization of what dreams and her current life really means...


Disclaimer: No darn it, I wasn't smart enough to come up with all this Moulin Rouge hullabloo first. I only use the characters due to lack of creativity.  
  
When Dreaming Ends  
  
Satine gazed impassively outside of the massive elephant. The lights outside were still blazing, inviting young men to come in and have every dream fulfilled. But the glowing flourescence did little to coax Satine out of her mood.  
  
She was tired. She didn't want to play this game anymore. Men came to her, came to see her, and wanted to have her. They told her they loved her, that they cared for her, would move mountains and even the world for her if she just so much as desired it. But it was a lie, it was all a bunch of lies. They loved the way she looked, loved the thought of her underneath them, that was what they loved.  
  
And she thought that that was what she loved as well. The constant adoration, the silent devotion. The glitz and glamour, the unthinkable fashions and jewelry, it was all hers. All anybody could ask for, all she ever wanted. Yet there was still one little problem underneath it all.  
  
She was not happy.  
  
It had to be the fact that she was only a mere can-can dancer. True, she was the Sparkling Diamond, a position desired by every dancer in the Moulin Rouge, and she was desired by every man who came into the Moulin Rouge. Still, it was not enough. She had to become a real somebody, no more of this small club with limited oppurtunity, she wanted to sweep the entire world off it's feet, she wanted those who had never known of the Moulin Rouge to know of her. She would not have only drunken men for her fans, but those of position and power. If she became an actress, she could do this. Become more famous than she had ever dreamed, have more than what she had even now.  
  
Then, she would be happy.  
  
Maybe.  
  
Hopefully.  
  
That had to be it. As soon as she became a world renown actress, she would finally fill the gap and feelings of dissatisfaction in her heart. She would not have to be ashamed of crying herself to sleep anymore in an empty bed exited by a lover she would never see again. She would not even have to cry anymore, there would be no room for tears. She would fly away and never come back to this wretched, blazing place.  
  
And she would still be unhappy. Satine sank down onto the bed covered with satin sheets, a bed not meant for her comfort but for something else. She let her head fall onto the pillow and felt the now too familiar tears well up in her eyes. She knew that it would not make her as happy as she thought. And if that truly would do nothing for her, then what was left for her? What was the point? That was the only thing she would actually be able to obtain in life, the only tangible dream she had.  
  
But she knew it still would not be enough. Nothing would save her from this miserable existence.  
  
She had never felt so alone in her life.  
  
Satine sat up in the bed, her red curls spilling over her shoulders. She looked out the window again, towards the ever-empty garrets that faced the elephant. She had nobody, nobody to talk to, nobody to hold, nothing. Sure, she had plenty of one-night stands, but nothing more. And the only one she could even call a friend would be Harold, but his motives were not for her either. Nobody cared.  
  
A sob wrenched itself out of her throat. She could not help her feelings anymore, she couldn't pretend any longer. It was hopeless, and she was damned. With guttural breath, so that she could barely be heard, Satine whispered out her song.  
  
Watching the days slip by so fast Knowing our fate has long been cast Working our fingers to the bone Cause nobody loves you when you're gone Coughing up feeling just for you To find something real to hold on to But there is a hole inside my heart Where all of my love comes pouring out  
  
The song did little to soothe her. The taste of realization was bitter, and she did not want anymore of it.  
  
Standing up, Satine smoothed her dress and swept her hair back. She took a deep breath and plastered the smile that came so easily to her. She wiped off what little mascara had run and freshened up her make-up. Then she opened the door of the elephant and strode with purpose. She was still the Sparkling Diamond, and she would never let anybody know that her dreaming was over.  
  
Further Disclaimer: The song I used is not mine either, (gasp!) it is Nobody Loves You by the wonderful group Garbage. Meh, it works. :) But whadya think? Come on, tell me and I'll love you! 


End file.
